For many people, January kicks off a brand new year.  For brides and grooms, it's not only important to come up with a New Year's Resolution.  It's also the beginning of "Wedding Season" ' a time when happy, but sometimes anxious couples start preparing for the ceremony and celebration of matrimony. According to a number of wedding professionals, 2010 is expected to bring a resurgence of brides and grooms who will start planning for the weddings they postponed during 2009 because of an ailing economy.    

Wedding planners, photographers, videographers, caterers, hotels, officiants, travel agencies and musicians are eagerly promoting their products and services for the expected flock of newlyweds ready to launch themselves into marital orbit.   

Thousands of web sites have sprung up during the last decade, with more coming every day, to help these couples prepare for their journey together.  The sites offer helpful suggestions and resources for couples who don't know where to begin, or who need help with writing their wedding vows, or who are looking for information about marriage licenses. 

"For the most part, brides and grooms first tackle the challenge of developing a budget for their event," explained Karen Oliver of TheNookandCranny.com.  "After the initial shock of how much it will all cost, the next focus is on logistics -- where to hold the wedding and reception, getting the caterer lined up, creating the guest list, and printing invitations." Oliver said couples then start searching for photographers and videographers to record the special day.  "Everything runs smoothly for a few months until someone reminds them about getting music for the wedding and reception," she added. 

According to Oliver, the search for music starts with deciding what kind of music couples want to hear at their wedding and reception.  Next, the two eager people agree on whether the music should be provided by an orchestra, live band, DJ, or a "one-man band."   

"Once all these decisions have been made," Oliver continued, "the search is on for a musician to provide music for one of the most important days of the couple's lives."  However, there is some concern about cost, according to Oliver. "I don't think most couples realize the broad range of rates for a variety of musicians," Oliver said.  "The cost can be from a few hundred dollars to more than $10,000."   

One web site has a free and helpful resource to help couples make the right decisions regarding music for their wedding. TheMUSICofLOVE.com has just produced a 48-page downloadable booklet, "The Practical Guide to Wedding Music."   

The guide includes descriptions of types of musicians, helpful techniques for finding them, and negotiating costs.  Also included are suggestions for ceremonial and celebratory music, guidelines for being an effective Master of Ceremonies, a list of wedding resources on the Internet, a wedding glossary and many other helpful suggestions for planning a successful wedding. 

e.e. cummings (1894 – 1962) was a delightful American "lowercase" poet who knew how to play with words. He played not just with the sound of words, but with the spelling and placement of the words and letters, as well. Unfortunately, his poetry does not visually translate very well in a blog.  So, it's the perfect snowy day in the Washington, DC area to go find him on the Internet and enjoy his playful poetry.  Meanwhile, here's one of his poems:  

one winter afternoon
(at the magical hour
when is becomes if)

a bespangled clown
standing on eighth street
handed me a flower.

Nobody, it's safe
to say, observed him but

myself; and why? because

without any doubt he was
whatever (first and last)

most people fear most:
a mystery for which i've
no word except alive

--that is,completely alert
and miraculously whole;

with not merely a mind and a heart

but unquestionably a soul--
by no means funereally hilarious

(or otherwise democratic)
but essentially poetic
or ethereally serious:

a fine not a coarse clown
(no mob,but a person)

and while never saying a word

who was anything but dumb;
since the silence of him

self sang like a bird.
Most people have been heard
screaming for international

measures that render hell rational
--i thank heaven somebody's crazy

enough to give me a daisy

Even though the word “logical” is definitely part of the word astro-logical, astrology just isn’t logical. And why is it that everyone identifies with the descriptions of personalities that are associated with each astrological sign?  It’s all hogwash. 

Back in the Sixties, a friend of mine named Linda Goodman was one of the most popular astrologers of our time.  She wrote a book named ”Love Signs” which focused on how people of one sign related to someone of another sign. This was mostly about the compatibility of different types of astrological personalities.   

For example, as a Gemini, my potential relationship with a Scorpio would be exquisitely passionate but ultimately we would destroy each other emotionally. Nevertheless, I was always willing to take a joy ride with a Scorpio only until I started seeing flames shooting out of her eyes. 

I enjoyed knowing Linda Goodman. She was famous and she loved it. But here’s what you should know about Linda.  She was a little nuts.  For example, one night she confided to me that Saint Frances of Assisi would be reincarnated and she would introduce him to me.  And then she whispered in my ear:  “So you’ll know it’s really him, I’ll introduce him as Sweet Pea,” she explained.  I wish there was some miraculous incident I could report, but I never did meet anyone named Sweet Pea. 

Soon, thereafter, Linda started associating with a religious cult called Children of God.  She invited me to join them, but they turned my stomach and so I dissociated myself from her.  Maybe she was a Scorpio, but I forget. 

I have a theory about these astrological personalities.  I think we are conditioned during the course of our lives to rationalize and align the descriptions of these astrological signs with who we believe ourselves to be. 

For example, let’s say you were brought up to believe you were a Leo, but you were really a Capricorn.  Would you identify with the personality description of Leo or Capricorn? 

Here’s a simple test which may provide a clue to the answer.  Listed below are the real descriptions of the 12 astrological signs, except the descriptions have been mixed up and simply numbered instead of named. After reading the descriptions, can you find your astrological sign by number, only?  

Ready, set, go…        

Sign One:  Emotional, loving, intuitive, imaginative, shrewd, cautious, protective, sympathetic, changeable, moody, over-emotional, touchy, clinging and unable to let go. 

Sign Two:  Adventurous, energetic, pioneering, courageous, enthusiastic, confident, dynamic, quick-witted, selfish, quick-tempered, impulsive, impatient, foolhardy and daredevil. 

Sign Three:  Generous, warmhearted, creative, enthusiastic, broad-minded, expansive, faithful, loving, pompous, patronizing, bossy, interfering, dogmatic and intolerant.

Sign Four:  Patient, reliable, warmhearted, loving, persistent, determined, placid, security loving, jealous, possessive, resentful, inflexible, self-indulgent and greedy. 

Sign Five:  Modest, shy, meticulous, reliable, practical, diligent, intelligent, analytical, fussy, worrier, over-critical, harsh, perfectionist and conservative. 

Sign Six:  Determined, forceful, emotional, intuitive, powerful, passionate, exciting, magnetic, jealous, resentful, compulsive, obsessive, secretive and obstinate. 

Sign Seven:  Adaptable, versatile, communicative, witty, intellectual, eloquent, youthful, lively, nervous, tense, superficial, inconsistent, cunning and inquisitive.


Sign Eight: Friendly, humanitarian, honest, loyal, original, inventive, independent, intellectual, intractable, contrary, perverse, unpredictable, unemotional and detached. 

Sign Nine:  Practical, prudent, ambitious, disciplined, patient, careful, humorous, reserved, pessimistic, fatalistic, miserly, grudging, overly conventional and rigid. 

Sign Ten:  Diplomatic, urbane, romantic, charming, easygoing, sociable, idealistic, peaceable, indecisive, changeable, gullible, easily influenced, flirtatious and self-indulgent. 

Sign Eleven:  Optimistic, freedom-loving, jovial, good-humored, honest, straightforward, intellectual, philosophical, blindly optimistic, careless, irresponsible, superficial, tactless and restless. 

Sign Twelve:  Imaginative, sensitive, compassionate, kind, selfless, unworldly, intuitive, sympathetic, escapist, idealistic, secretive, vague, weak-willed and easily led.

So, which one of these 12 signs are you?  To see which sign you actually selected, CLICK HERE.

For the past month, something strange has been living with me.  It's definately not human, but it appears to enjoy the company of humans -- at least me.  During our time together, I've started to have feelings for this creature.  My friends think I'm crazy and have jokingly suggested that I take more showers.  Instead, I wrote a very short story about my experience with this thing, but it may not be the end because it's still very much ALIVE!  Click here to read my true story...

 

The great comedian, George Carlin, once did a routine about how we keep buying bigger houses to store our growing collection of stuff.  It's true. 

Yesterday, after playing at an engagement party, I came home and started unloading all of my equipment into a large storage room.  After bringing up the last bit of equipment, I stopped for a moment to look around the room and reflect on the large amount of stuff I had collected over the years. 

Fist of all, I have 14 keyboards.  Okay, I understand why it's important to have 14 keyboards.  It's the same reason golfers keep buying new golf clubs and guitarists keep buying new guitars.  Part of the reason lies in our belief that we can improve our skill by improving the instrument we use so skillfully.  And it seems to work, at least for me.  Every time I purchase a new keyboard, I seem to sound better when I play it.  

The second reason I have so many keyboards is because I'm fascinated with the latest and greatest features and functions even though I never really learn to use or utilize them.   But it's always nice to know I can make my keyboard sound like a barking dog if I ever need to do so.

The third reason I have a lot of keyboards is it's good to have backup equipment in case something breaks.  So, in case my keyboard stops working, I have 13 backup keyboards standing by.  I hate to admit this, but I have one rather expensive keyboard I purchased a year ago and I haven't even taken it out of the box.
 
The fourth reason happens to be related to the fact that I'm an impulsive and sometimes reckless purchaser of really cool stuff.  A few years ago, while surfing on the web, I came across a really great deal on a set of new Ludwig drums. I would have been an idiot not to buy them immediately.  So I bought them and they were delivered to the folks in my rental office.  When I went to pick up the boxes, I was asked why I had drums delivered to me when I lived in an apartment with neighbors above, below and on each side of me.   I hadn't really thought about it, so the drums sat in my storage room until they became a Christmas present for a young man I knew.

So, last night at midnight I'm alone in my storage room surrounded by my stuff.  I did wonder for a moment how much I could make if I sold some it on eBay. The moment passed, however, and I left my storage room contented.  I had a lot of really cool stuff and I felt pretty good about it. The fifth and final reason just might be the most important reason of all:  because it makes me feel good.  So, there!

      
       

Musical technology has not changed very much since the introduction of the first electronically amplified guitar developed by George Beauchamp in 1931.  Electric guitars look pretty much the same as they did 50 years ago, give or take a few worthwhile adjustments. 

An interesting side note: The first analog synthesizer was invented in 1876 by Elisha Grey, who played a key role in the development of the telephone. I happen to know that little bit of history because I used to work for AT&T.

In 1964, Robert Moog invented the modular synthesizer which evolved into today’s keyboard.  But again, not much has happened in the continuing development of keyboards for the last 50 years. And I’m not talking about all the great programming keyboard players now have within their control.   The basic keyboard – both it’s shape and intention – has not waivered, much. Even the lowly harmonica is pretty much the same. 

So my question is why?  Why aren’t we seeing all those crazy musical instruments like we saw in the films like Star Wars? 

Musical genres have certainly exploded into a million variations, but not the musical instrumentation utilized to make the sounds.  Maybe it’s a little like television.  There are countless television channels and programs, but we still watch it all on a basic screen – even though it may be LCD or plasma.  But the device used to show us these programs has remained what it was so many years ago.  Granted, there are no more “rabbit ears” and we’ve got HD quality, but is it all that much different?  It’s just a screen with moving pictures in it.

Automobiles haven’t really changed that much, either.  They still have an engine, four wheels and windshield wipers.  Airplanes still have wings.  We still dial telephones to make a call.  And the list goes on.

I think necessity forces change, but there doesn’t seem to be any necessity to invent new musical instruments.  That doesn’t make any sense to me.   Why aren’t we searching for new sounds and new instruments to create these new sounds?  Where’s that “lost chord” the Moody Blues were searching for?

Maybe we don’t crave new sounds after all. In a world that’s filled with constant political and social change, maybe we long for the constancy of a familiar sound – like a heat beat or the breath we draw every few moments or the wind we hear sweeping through the trees.  Perhaps it’s good to know some things don’t change as fast as the world around us.

Nevertheless, I’ll be listening for new sounds coming from some new thingamajig.  I wonder if I’ll know whether it’s in tune or not.

  

When I first started as a wedding musician, I had to put myself into a category so people would easily understand the type of musician they were hiring.  Generally, we all know the difference between an orchestra, a string quartet, and a rock band.  Then there are solo musicians like a pianist, violinist, guitarist and harpist.   Have you noticed that all these types have an "ist" after the instrument they play?

Very often, another popular category is the DeeJay (or DJ)  -- and why is their job always capitalized?  What makes them so special?  After all, they aren't musicians but the public always seems to put them into the same category as musicians.

Then there's that "other" category that was very popular for a while, but I'm happy to say is losing its popularity:  One-Man Band.  Actually, it's a bit sexist, isn't it?  There are certainly women who are one-man bands.

Most of us have this image in our mind of what a one-man band looks like.  It's right next to the image of an Organ Grinder with the obligatory monkey on his shoulder.  Our image of the one-man band is probably the one that includes a man with striped pants playing as big bass drum strapped to his chest while he crashes two small cymbals together between his knees while he plays a trumpet and steps on some contraption which creates still another sound. 

It's musical and comical genius, simultaneously.  It's musical multi-tasking at its finest.  However, I can't remember the last time I saw one of these guys at a wedding or reception.  And now I'm wondering if anyone in the history of the world ever hired one of these guys -- even if
they played for free.

Today's one-man band (now listed in lower case) has discovered computer technology. Instead of all that musical apparatus strapped to his body, he (or she) relies on two or three electronic keyboards – some combination of laptop and musical keyboards.  I probably shouldn’t reveal their secrets -- because I used to be an OMB (one-man band), myself.  Oh, what the heck!  You should know what’s behind the curtain if you’re paying for it. 

Before I reveal these secrets, however, please note that not all one-man bands utilize exactly the same techniques.  Nor am I advising you to avoid hiring one-man bands because many of them are very talented and entertaining. 

My first experience with seeing and hearing a one-man band was about ten years ago.  I, and a group of fellow musicians, went to a bar to have a few drinks and listen to some guy play the piano keyboard.  He had a lot of equipment and we watched with interest as he set it up. Then he pulled out a laptop computer and set it right in front of him like he was going to surf the web while he played.

When he finally started to play, we were blown away.  His music was fantastic.  We weren't sure how he did it, but this guy was phenomenal.  Every song was almost exactly like the original. We were impressed until some guy behind us told us this musician's nickname.  He was known as the Karaoke Kid. 

He wasn't really performing Karaoke, but it was an awfully close call.  He was still playing the musical keyboard, right?  He was still creating all those sounds from the computer, wasn't he?  Nope.  It turned out he was playing along to pre-recorded "backing tracks" which he purchased and downloaded to his laptop. 

Normally, backing tracks consist of all the musical parts of a song minus the main vocals.  When the one-man band hits play on his laptop, the backing track kicks in and he will play and sing along to it.  It does sound a little like Karaoke, doesn't it?  But he is playing the keyboard, so it's not quite the same thing, is it? 

So, I went home that night feeling a little cheated.  It was as though I peaked behind the curtain and came to realize that Oz was not so "great and powerful," after all.

Most everyone deserves a second chance, so I returned the following weekend to watch and listen to him again.  I was still somewhat impressed with his style and overall stage presence, but this time I sat where I could watch his hands.  I was interested in how he put it all together.  Even with my new view, he appeared and sounded as though he was holding his own.  Then it happened!!!

He was playing and singing the end of a song, but looked as though he was trying to get ready for the next song which I think some one had requested earlier.  He moved both of his hands off the piano keyboard and onto the keys of the laptop.  When he did, there was absolutely no difference in the sound of the song everyone was hearing.  He was still singing, so I guess -- at this point in his performance -- we were entering the Karaoke Zone.  That's when I started watching and listening even more critically than before.

In the final analysis, he was a good musician.  He even pulled out his saxophone and played along to the backing tracks.  He was also a great showman.  He knew which songs to play to get people up on the dance floor -- like a really good DeeJay.  So, once I got over the shock of what he was actually doing, I relaxed a bit more and started to enjoy it.

I shouldn't paint all one-man bands with the same broad brush, however.  I've seen some great ones who play guitar, keep a drum beat with their left foot, strike a cymbal and tambourine with their right foot, play harmonica with their mouth and sing. I'm not so sure these talented guys do many weddings or receptions, but why not?

So, I'm still left with the question about where do I fit?  It's a puzzling question because I'm in a few categories.  I'm definitely a solo pianist who plays background music or plays and sings popular love songs.  But -- here it comes -- I'm also a one-man band. 

Yes, it's true. But I'm proud to say I don't follow the practices or techniques of the Karaoke Kid. Instead, I try to create as many of the sounds of the song as possible in real time -- or live or not pre-recorded.  In other words, you'll know when I take my hands off the piano keyboard because it will no longer sound like the same song. 

Typically, I'll use one keyboard for the main melody of the song while my other hand plays a synthesizer keyboard which creates the sound of strings or brass.  Meanwhile, I've got a couple of foot pedals to alter my voice when I need back-up singers or a specific beat from my drum machine.  And there are times when I play guitar or harmonica, and there are quite a few times when I'm playing the electric piano or guitar with no back-up sounds at all.

So, to which category of musician should I pledge allegiance? 

Frankly, a lot of my clients start out by looking for a rock band but then learn how costly a band can be and turn to me.  Conversely, people looking for a DeeJay realize that they can get someone like me for about the same price, but they also get the spontaneity of live music.

Am I in some kind of hybrid category like the One-Dee-Man?Solo-Jay-Band category?  Let’s all pause to reflect for a moment then I’ll use my intuition to guess what you will suggest.

Okay, I think you’ve got it.  After much reflection, you are suggesting that I should create my own category.  Great idea!  Thanks!  So now I am in the category called Virtual Virtuoso -- or "Virtualoso" (for short) -- which Webster does not define, but he will. Does this mean I'm now a VIRTUALOSO-IST?  If so, I may be one of a kind. I like it!

Oh, they’re out there all right just waiting to be captured.  And they’re not too difficult to find when you take the time to look for them, but here’s the catch:  Start looking for the music first and not for the musician.

Music moves everyone in deep and mysterious ways.  It is the harmony of love and life, together.  It’s hard to imagine our world, or the special times of our lives, without it. 

There’s a melody and a rhythm to everything we do in our lives.  Maybe it’s a symphony when we embrace someone we care about.  I wonder if everyone hears the jazz of moving through a crowded street. Perhaps it’s a gentle lullaby as we drift off to sleep. 

If music is the soundtrack of our lives, why do so many people wait until the last moment to select a musician and the music that will punctuate their memories with the melodies of their emotions?

Whether your affair is grand or intimate, the right live music will be an important ingredient to making it successful.  So, here are five suggestions for making it happen. 

Don’t start with a budget for music.  Instead, envision the kind of wedding, ceremony and celebration you want to experience -- not what your guests or family want, but what you want.  Forget about the cost for now.  Believe me, if your vision is strong enough and you’re creative enough, you will find a band or orchestra or guitar player or pianist within your budget.  The supply of musicians far outweighs the demand for them.  But if you wait until the last minute, you won’t have time to shop around.

One size may not fit all.  The musician you hire for the ceremony may be different than the musician for the reception.  You could save a little money by negotiating with a band that can “break apart” to provide a pianist or acoustic guitar player for the ceremony and then joins back together for the reception and party.  Another plus is when the front-person of the band can also be the Master of Ceremonies.  If you get really lucky, you may even find a musician willing to write original music just for you. Be careful, however, that you’re not asking one musical group to do too much. 

Seek an agreement.  Make certain the live musician(s) you select can provide you with a written agreement – even an e-mail message – confirming their price, services and length of performance.  It’s also best if the musicians belong to a professional organization which sets forth principles to guide musicians’ behavior during their performance.  For example, the Wedding Musician Association publishes Principles of Performance which states musicians should not set up or break down their equipment while guests are still in attendance.  Other principles include guidelines about wedding protocol, safety and ethical billing procedures.

Stick to your guns.  Even though musicians may have a lot of great ideas for music, you are the one in charge of your own vision.  Certainly, they can influence you with their  experience and you should listen to their ideas.  But this is your time, your life and your vision.  Try to figure out -- in advance – all of the specific songs you want and then ask for samples so you can hear the music before the big day.   Believe it or not, many musicians are happy to plan with you and some will even attend the rehearsal – and you should let them.  In fact, don’t forget that many couples have live music for their wedding rehearsal reception.

Ask for help, early.  Just as it take some people a very long time to find the right partner to share their life, it could take a little time to select the right musician and the most appropriate music. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Share your vision of music with a friend and turn them loose.  However, don’t let them make decisions without you. In the end, you’ll be glad you didn’t wait until the last minute.

Happy hunting!    

How much is that piano-playing doggy in the window?  Yes, the one with the waggling tail! The real answer is:  How much are you willing to pay? 

Demand and supply is the name of the game in the music business.  For example, everyone knows that – compared to a live band -- DeeJays are less expensive.  Generally, there are two reasons why.  First, DeeJays don’t split their fee with anyone.  Second, there are a lot of Deejays in this world. And therefore there’s a lot of competition.  And competition means lower prices. 

Let’s assume you want to hire a live band.  Here are a few assumptions to keep in mind.  The more popular a band becomes, the more likely it is to charge more.  Also, more people in a band will raise the cost to hire it.  Finally, if the band works with an agency, the band will add 5 to 20 percent onto your total cost. 

Bands that have been around for a while know how to negotiate with you for services.  Bands that are just starting out in the business may not have a clue.  If you can find a band that’s just starting out and you trust the band to deliver, go for it.  Of course, make sure you hear or see them play before you make a commitment.

A lot of bands will have two rate structures – one for pubic performances and other for private affairs.  Some bands will adjust their price if they believe it will lead to future business.  For example, they may be willing to lower their price if you have lots of folks who would be interested in hiring them.  Therefore, when the leader of a band negotiates rates with you, they want to know a few other things from you first before they quote you a price. When’s the date of the performance?   They believe in charging a little more for weekends and holidays.  They also want to know how much travel is involved and whether there are any complexities in setting up.

Musicians may also ask you what you have paid for a live band in the past, but that may not be a relevant question so avoid answering it. Musicians also decide on a rate based on how much they need the work, so visit their website and see if their calendar is typically filled.  If not, you may get a break on cost. 

You may also bring down the price by offering the possibility of publicity for the band.  Obviously, you’ll have to be creative with weddings and receptions but you never know.  Another factor the band may consider in lowering its price is whether the location is some really cool place to play.  Is it on the beach?  Or is it in a very fancy hotel? 

Don’t be afraid to negotiate a price.  Simply start by saying you have a budget for the music.  Bands always have a range of rates – a low and a high end – and they’ll usually have some flexibility to give a little. They may provide you with a price quote and tell you it’s based on a similar gig they did in the past.  Don’t flinch, however.  If it’s too high, just say so.  They may ask you again what you normally pay, but don’t say anything.  Let them provide you with a quote you can live with.  You can always tell them you’ll think about it and wait for an e-mail message from them that suggests a lower rate. In the end, they may come down to your proposed rate or even something close.  But they may want you pay for expenses, such as mileage and meals.  It’s up to you. 

Remember, it’s all about supply and demand.  Most musicians are not making a full-time living out of playing.  There are plenty of bands that just enjoy playing at any rate.  And while it’s important to avoid breaking your bank when hiring a musician for your event, it’s also importance to remember that a great music can make a significant difference in the success of yur event.

If you can afford that piano-playing doggy in the window and it makes you happy, then you know what to do.

Happy Tails!

     

I’m always surprised when I hear stories about musicians behaving badly in public.  Although, let’s face it, we musicians – and performers, in general – tend to be either a little rough around the edges and/or, well let’s just say, crazy. 

Playing music professionally – especially at a special event like a wedding – requires a bit more than simply sounding really great. Unfortunately, a great-sounding band that doesn’t understand how to behave during a wedding reception can really be a downer. 

I can’t say I’m fond of too many rules and regulations when I play music, but there must be some set of principles by which musicians like me can act and perform. 

Luckily, these principles have been created and agreed-upon by members of the Wedding Musician Association (.org), a non-profit organization comprising professional musicians committed to providing the best possible music and service to their clients.   

Admittedly, the principles seem to be a little preachy (my one criticism), but they do make sense.  And here they are (in bold) along with my editorial comments: 

Never discriminate on the basis of race, religion, sexual orientation, cultural traditions or age.  Obviously, this is a no-brainer but you’d be surprised at how many times musicians will turn down a gig because of these factors.  When you are a business, you should not discriminate against your customers.   

Listen to your client and try to understand their vision for success.  Wedding vendors, and not just musicians, can smell when a bride and groom don’t know what they’re doing and tend to take over.  Sometimes it’s challenging to understand what the bride and groom want, but we’ve got to try and find out.  Instead of jumping in with our own ideas, it’s better to wait and let the couple find their own basic vision, first.  Then we can add our own suggestions.     

Be a supportive consultant and service provider to wedding planners.  Musicians will often keep them themselves isolated from the planning process of a wedding.  In fact, many musicians leave the wedding market because there are too many questions and phone calls from the bride, groom and wedding planner.  The wedding planners are in charge and so I always make sure I understand their needs as well.  Granted, it’s not always possible to make everyone happy, but we can try.

Make certain to ensure the safety of your client and guests.  Yes, I’ve had the father of the bride trip and fall on a power cord.  It wasn’t a pretty picture and I learned the hard way to take all the necessary precautions.  A lot could happen and musicians should be prepared for anything.  Incidentally, not all musicians have liability insurance, and they should.    

Offer opportunities for guests to become involved whenever possible.  For some reason, especially during wedding receptions, guests like to become involved with the music.  Either they want to make requests, or ask you to turn the sound volume up or down, or they want to sing along, or play the tambourine.  What’s important to remember is that musicians do have a relationship with their audiences.  They are not simply playing music behind a curtain.  

Know the management rules and regulations of the venue in advance.  If I have never played at a particular hotel, I’ll make certain I understand the hotel’s policies and procedures for accommodating musicians and their equipment. 

Be prepared for specialized electrical requirements and bring backup equipment.  It’s really quite frightening to be at an event and some vital piece of equipment doesn’t work, so bring backup equipment just in case.

Never take more time for a break than your performance agreement allows, and always let your client know where you will be located.  For some reason, people like to make announcements when the band is on a break.  Nothing is more frustrating to a client than not knowing how to find any members of the band.  Also, if it’s appropriate,  play some pre-recorded break music while you’re gone. 

Be familiar with and respect the culture and tradition of your client.  Not all wedding ceremonies, or receptions or people are the same.   

Fully know all necessary protocol for weddings & receptions.  This should be the number-one principle.  Musicians are often part of a time-honored tradition, so they should be very familiar with the protocol and all of the procedures and their variations.

Always charge fairly for your services and make certain your client understands and agrees fully with any performance contract.  Integrity, honesty and good communications are important factors when working with clients.  There should be no room for deception by any musician.  Expectations should always be clear for both parties. 

Never drink alcohol or smoke tobacco in or near the venue.  Don’t even do it on a break unless you are located where no one can see you. 

Never display a "tip jar," merchandise or business cards.  Tacky practice – especially at weddings.  Musicians should always have their business cards available, however; just not on display.   

Wear suitable clothing as advised by your client.  Hello?  It’s called getting with the program.  Not all musicians ask in advance about dress, however.

Never setup or pack your equipment while quests are still located in the performance area.  It happens all the time.  The musical clock stops at midnight, but the party keeps going and the band needs to pack up and get out.  It’s not always possible to avoid packing while the party is still going on, but musicians should try and wait. Of course, if it’s not possible, confer with the client.   

Avoid being a "celebrity" during your performance and remember:  It's not about YOU.  Musicians, me included, have egos.  And sometimes when we have the microphone it’s easy to believe we’re the star of the show.  And, frankly, when I’m playing at a club or theater, hopefully I am the star of the show.  Weddings, however, are a very different story.  Musicians at weddings are like good meeting facilitators.  They keep things moving, but they don’t control the meeting. 

Last May, I celebrated my birthday by parachuting from 14,000 feet.  But this wasn’t the most thrilling experience of my life which actually took place 40 years go. 

I purchased my first Jimi Hendrix album in high school and instantly fell in love with his music.  In fact, as a result, I became a musician and today I play professionally.  After high school, I moved to New York City, met my wife and totally immersed myself in music. Attending concerts at the Fillmore East became a ritual.  Hendrix was a god!  And then I got two tickets to the midnight show of The Band of Gypsies!  Wow!  I was thrilled.

My wife and I had spent the holidays with my in-laws in the Washington, DC area before leaving to attend the concert on the very last day of 1969. We had just crossed the bridge into New Jersey from Delaware and our car broke down.  Not good. After being towed to a garage and hearing the cost was more than the car was worth, we abandoned everything and decided to hitch-hike to NYC.  It was about eight hours before show time. 

We weren’t allowed to thumb a ride on the NJ Turnpike so we were forced to take another route.  We did get a ride almost immediately, but only for about 20 miles.  Then we decided to head toward the turnpike again to try hitching outside the toll booth.  And it was really cold and we didn’t really have anything warm to wear.

After about 30 minutes, a trucker stopped but we actually turned him down because he looked really strange.  So then we decided to make a cardboard sign – which I kept for many years after – that read:  JIMI HENDRIX – NYC. So, once again, we wait patiently for someone to stop.  I think we were close to the exit for Philadelphia or Trenton.  I was frustrated and really worried that we’d miss the greatest concert experience of my life.

My wife brought along some fruit that started getting pretty squished, but we ate it.  We prayed for someone to pick us up.  We started fantasizing about what the concert would be like and started to get even more depressed. Then it started getting dark.  It got dark early this time of year, so I used my cigarette lighter to light up my sign.  Very stupid idea because the fluid eventually disappeared.

Then it happened – like a miracle!  A very large stretch limo pulled up in front of us and the driver waved for us to come to his window.  He asked if we were going to the concert in NYC to see Jimi.  We’re trying, I remember telling him.  We told him our story and he said to get in.  We did.

Getting into the limo felt a lot like jumping from a plane on my birthday.  I was immediately exhilarated and fearful (for some reason).  Jimi Hendrix was riding in this limo and we had just entered it.  I was out of my mind.   Then I thought maybe this is just some rich guy who looks like Hendrix.  No, it was Jimi!!!  His eyes were closed, but there were two other guys and one woman also riding with him and they welcomed us by offering us both drinks.  One of the dudes told Jimi to wake up because he had guests.  He didn’t look like he wanted to wake up, but he eventually did.

I remember a lot about this ride and there are some things I forget.  What I remember most distinctly is him telling me that I had a “foxy lady.”  I didn’t laugh then, but today I smile just thinking about it.  In fact, I called my wife “Foxy” for many years after.  Riding with Jimi in his limo to NYC was one of greatest events of my life.  I also met Salvador Dali while tripping in NYC, but that was a close second.  The ride was fantastic; it was the ULTIMATE ROAD TRIP! 

When we arrived in NYC, the limo dropped everyone off at the Sherry Netherland Hotel and the driver brought my wife and I to our apartment.  Before we got out, he handed us a pass to go backstage during the concert. Unbelievable!  

My wife and I wanted to go to Woodstock, but we just couldn’t make it.  And then Jimi died and we were heart-broken.  We really felt a void.  I still do.  He was the greatest guitar player and performer of our time.  I’ve been to the Jimi Hendrix museum in Seattle many times.  He was great!

My “Foxy Lady” and I were divorced many years ago.  Today, a poster of Jimi is on my wall and I have every album he ever made.  I remember being interviewed by the Village Voice years ago about my encounter with Jimi, but I’m not sure if it was ever published.  I used to love telling the story to my friends, but after a while I think they heard enough. 

Purple Haze is my brain and lately things don’t seem the same – since Jimi shook my hand and then passed away to kiss the sky.

My best friend was born on Christmas and so it was always easy to remember the date I had to send her a card and a birthday gift.  While I thought it would be wonderful to be born on a holiday, she hated it. 

“My birthday gets lost in the tinsel,” I remember her saying.  “How can I compete with the magnitude of a national holiday?” she’d confess.  Besides, she also had the sneaking suspicion that the amount of gifts she would receive would also be roughly half of what everyone else received. 

Then there was the problem of people spending time with their families during the holidays and not all that interested in going to a birthday party to give presents when they could all go home instead and open their own presents.

So, now you’re thinking how wonderful it would be to get married or celebrate your commitment to each other on a holiday.  My first word of advice is to go ahead and do it if you’ve really thought it through.  If you haven’t it, however, here’s what you ought to consider:  cost, time/effort and date conflicts. 

Incidentally, as a wedding musician, I’ve played at a few holiday ceremonies and celebrations.  It’s one of those gigs where I automatically charge more than I usually do. Many musicians even charge a little more for playing on the weekends.  Therefore, the very first thing to consider is cost. 

Almost everything for a celebration or a wedding will cost you a little more during the holidays.  Not every cost goes up, but most costs do especially those plane tickets for all your out-of-town relatives. 

You can try bringing some of the expenses down by booking far in advance.  For example, I’m more likely to offer a reasonable rate a few months out than if you contact me a month before an event. 

Conversely, if you have the guts to do it, try waiting until the very last minute when vendors have nothing booked and you are a “bird in their hand.”  You may end up with vendors at the bottom of the barrel, but you may not.  It’s a risk that sometimes pays off. 

If you’ve jumped over the “cost” hurdle, then it’s on to the next: time and effort. 

Obviously, planning your special day during an already special day could make planning two special days in one very complicated –unless you’ve chosen Ground Hog Day. 

Obviously, depending upon which holiday you select, trying to navigate a major holiday season can be challenging.  But if you can devote the time and effort to making your ceremony less stressful, go for it.  This would be a great time to start thinking about a coordinator, however.

Okay, we’ve crossed the bridges of cost and effort.  Now it’s on to what my friend was always worried about:  guest  or date conflicts.  Will anyone come to my ceremony or celebration if I hold it on a holiday that’s more important to them?  Well, will they? 

You know your friends and family better than I.  Of course, if you want to find a way to creatively invite a lot of people knowing full well that they won’t all attend, then you should pick a holiday.

Cost, effort and conflict.  Three simple issues and you’ve dealt with them all. 

Okay, now it’s time to pick a holiday and there are so many from which to select.  And remember, you’ll probably have to deal in some degree with each of those three issues depending upon the holiday you select. 

Here are some suggestions for pairing a holiday with your special day.

New Year’s Eve and/or New Year’s Day – It’s a time of renewal and commitment.   It celebrates the past and gives hope to the future.  I played music for a couple who had their dance party and reception before getting married.  They were actually married at the stroke of midnight so they took their vows in one year and started living up to them in the next. You just have to hope your less energetic friends and relatives can stay up late.

St. Valentine’s Day – It’s such a perfect holiday for a commitment ceremony that it brings tears to my eyes.  What better day than a day celebrating romance and love? 

Leap Day (February 29) – Obviously, you’ll be celebrating fewer anniversaries but think about how rare your anniversary date will be.  Selecting this date says a lot about your willingness to think outside the box, but not necessarily outside the relationship.  

First Day of Any Season – While these four days of the year are not national holidays, they are demarcations and symbolic of the cycles of life.  Each season, of course, will inspire a slightly different theme for your special day:  Love Blooms Eternal, Winter Wonderful, Fall Festival and Summer of Love, etc.   

Income Tax Day – Yes, it’s not that romantic but it’s deductible.  And don’t laugh because I married my first wife on this date and it was always easy to remember.  Let’s move on before I have second thoughts.    

Mother’s Day or Father’s Day – Admittedly, it’s a special gift to the people in your lives who made it all possible.  Just make certain it doesn’t backfire and your parents start thinking you’re trying to steal all the glory on their special days.    

Independence Day – Seems somewhat odd to celebrate independence when you’re uniting together as one, but fireworks at your ceremony or party might be really cool.  Just make sure they’re up in the sky!

Halloween – As strange as it may seem, I played for a couple who got married on Halloween.  And I can say it was one of the weirdest yet enjoyable
experiences of my music career.  Trick or treat?

Thanksgiving – I can honestly say I’ve never seen or heard of a wedding or ceremony on or near this holiday.  Somebody out there should do it for historical purposes.  Maybe you could have your event on the replica of the Mayflower or hold your reception at a turkey farm.  Let me know what happens, won’t you?

Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanza – Forgive me if I’ve missed one of the other major holidays in December, but all of these holidays should be selected at your own risk.  Remember that cost, effort and conflict are still three important issues to consider.  Consider them very carefully during the mother (or father) of all holiday seasons.

There are countless other special days like birthdays, the anniversary of the day you both met, or at ten o’clock on the tenth day of the tenth month during the year 2010.  There are dates of solar and lunar eclipses, or the longest and shortest days of the year.  And there are dates which you draw at random to show your faith in fate.

In the end, it’s your special day and every year for the rest of your lives you will celebrate on the day you selected.  Remember, it’s a little like getting a tattoo.  It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now…?

If you -- or someone you know -- wants to get married on a holiday, please visit www.TheMUSICofLOVE.com.

Happy Wedding Day!             

I’d say about 25% of the people who ask me to quote a price for playing at their event end up hiring me.  Thanks!  The other 75% have either selected another musician, were just window shopping or cancelled their event.  But then there is an extremely small percentage of people who are either crazy or scam artists.  Here’s an example of the craziness that musicians sometimes have to endure. 

I get a request to submit a bid from someone who has contacted Gigmasters.com and wants a musician for a wedding reception to be held in about two weeks in Florida. 
I live in the Washington, DC area and I’ll play anywhere if you pay me, but I could not understand why this person would want me to travel such a great distance.  Did he think I was the perfect musician?  He couldn’t find a local musician? Immediately, I stated to get a little suspicious.

Oh, and his name and writing style made me think he didn’t have full command of the English language.  Here’s what he wrote in his original request:

“Hello, I am an event Coordinator. I have read your profile. Get back to me about your and rate. I will be needing you in bradenton Florida for my client's wedding reception. Get back to me as soon as possible.”

I responded by bidding $1,000 and following up with a number of questions like:  What’s your phone number?  Where will the reception be located?  How come I can't find you when I search for your nameon the Internet?   

He did provide answers to come of my questions.  His area code was from Washington State.  His client’s phone was located on the Isle of White in Great Britain.  And I discovered his client’s home address was a sports bar.  Oh, and around 4am the next morning he sends me an email message saying he wants my home address right away so his client can send a check and confirm me as the musician.

Meanwhile, GigMasters sent me a message stating the gig had been cancelled because they highly suspected it was submitted by a bogus client and possible con artist.

I must congratulate GigMasters for their diligence.  They do all they can in preventing con artists from utilizing the GigMasters website.  For example, they ask all clients to verify their email addresses and telephone numbers, and they block all IP addresses which originate outside of North America. Unfortunately, from time to time a con artist with a bogus event does slip through the cracks. In their message to me were a few basic warning signals which can help recognize a con artist:

Anyone who asks you to mail money; Anyone who is vague about the details about an event; Anyone who provides excess details which are not relevant to an event ;  Anyone who you have a difficult time reaching by telephone.

Most of this happened during the Thanksgiving holiday.  So this morning I get another message from this bogus client saying he’s a wedding planner and he’s checking on my availability.  Now he’s acting as though we never spoke, but it’s fine with me.

So here’s where I’m confused. What’s the scam? 

He says he wants my address to send the check to me and then I’ll be confirmed to play.  So I cash the check and then what?  Or does he claim the check got lost in the mail and I’m supposed to provide information about my bank so he can wire funds, but instead he removes funds from my account.  What do you think? 

I’m a trusting musician who seldom needs an advanced deposit or contract before playing at an event.  It makes me sad to think there are nuts out there – like Bernie Madoff – who take advantage of people all the time.   So, be careful.       

As far as I know, there's only one other John Schneider I care about -- the one who starred in the "Dukes of Hazzard" and shows up on all web searches before me.  I met him once in New York City at a business reception.  I don't believe he was as impressed with me as I was with him.  Since that time, meeting and working with celebrities has become somewhat routine for me.  I still get a little excited when meeting well-known people, however.  I just maintain my cool a little better than those early days.  No autographs.  Oh, by the way, this is my blog.  It's not the first blog I ever published, but it is the first blog blatantly located beneath my name.  I got the idea for it while registering a "Vanity URL" for my parents who are about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary.  While I was at it, I also registered my daughter's name.  Just before I was about to pay for the registrations, I decided to throw my own name in the basket and here I am writing a blog.  I'm told by the SEO Authority (SEOA) that a blog is mandatory if I expect anyone to visit my website.  Oh, SEO?  OH!  It stands for Search Egine Optimization, but you probably new that already.  These SEOAs also advise me to post something to the blog every day.  I can't comprehend posting something once a week, let alone once a day. And I certainly can't understand how anyone can post something on Twitter every few minutes.  Where do they find the time?  So by now, you're realizing that I don't have much to say.  But I hope you'll come back because I will think of something eventually.  Maybe I'll start by describing my early days in the "Dukes of Hazzard."  Oh, that's right.  Not me.